Shadowen
by drarrysev
Summary: Harry's 6th & 7th Years are filled with pain, joy, discoveries, and losses. SLASH HPDM Rated R for future sexual content, violence, and rape. Possibly future MPREG.


Harry Potter Fanfic: Shadowen by Jeanette L. McGlothin  
  
Chapter One: New Beginnings  
  
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and therefore anything she created... I did not. However this particular foray into the land of what if... this creation is all mine.  
  
Summary: Harry's 6th & 7th Years are filled with pain, joy, discoveries, and losses. An enemy becomes something else, special training alienates his friendship with Ron and Hermione, and leaving them hurts worse of all. Also a couple of new Order Members arrive often turning the tide in battles that are proof that war is no longer a future possibility... war has arrived. SLASH DM/HP. Rating R for later chapters including adult situations, language, and discriptions of violence and rape.  
  
[Draco's Thoughts] ||Harry's Thoughts||  
  
The beginning of December 6th Year finds Draco wandering about the grounds covered in his invisibility cloak... after all if it is good enough for Harry Bloody Potter it was good enough for his Father's son. He has been doing a lot of thinking about the future and his place in it. At first it was just an objective analysis of strengths: Who would win? The Light or the Dark? Lord Voldermort or Harry Potter? His Father or Dumbledore? The more he studied the differences and similarities between the two sides the more frustrated he became. Both sides would use manipulation, power, wealth, and influence to further their cause. Both sides would lie cheat and steal. Both sides would torture maim and kill (after all the only way a spy could survive the Dark Lord's service was to participate.) The big differences were intent and remorse. The Dark reveled in their evil deeds. They did them with apparant glee and held no remorse. The individuals might have personal remorse hidden within their hearts... but they dare not show it for fear of punishment and possibly death at the whim of their Lord. The Light recognized the darkness of some of their deeds... they viewed them as necessary evils and deeply regretted them.   
  
Then the were the Major Players:   
  
**Harry James Potter**   
  
Powerful Wizard [stonger than even Dumbledore I suspect], Kind, Somewhat Intelligent, Intuitive, Fiercly Protective, Foolishly Brave, and Accepting of his apparant role as "Savior" of the Wizarding World. His sole purpose in the war... to destroy Lord Voldemort.  
  
**Lord Voldemort**  
  
Powerful Wizard, Cruel, Intelligent, Insanely Jealous, Cunning. He seems to have duel purposes: #1 The creation of his so called perfect "New World" - a world where the Pureblood Wizards would rule as supreme, the Muggleborn (Mudbloods) and Halfbloods would be killed or forced into slavery, and the muggles would recognize their place to serve or be destroyed themselves. #2 To kill, embarrass, tortue, and utterly destroy the one person to best him time and time again... the aforementioned Harry Potter.  
  
Conclusion: while Potter's aim in this is simple and straight forward, Vodemort's 2 goals are often conflicting and therefore work against each other weakening his position. [Interesting.]  
  
The Supporting Players:  
  
**Lucius Malfoy**  
  
[My Father] Powerful Wizard, Smart [though the one he follows continues to slip into madness], Crafty [though he was bested by a 12 year old], Cruel [even to his family], and Rich... Very Very Rich.  
  
**Albus Dumbledore**  
  
Powerful Wizard, Smart, Wise [if a little barmy at times], Crafty, Manipulative [I swear sometimes that man was in Sytherin], and Kind.  
  
Conclusion: Dumbledore is more powerful than Lucius and definately cares about the well being of those that he leads.  
  
[The more I look at it the more apparant it becomes that the Light will win. Of course this totally discounts the effects the "wild cards" will play. We have the Ministry - a cumbersome form of government ran by fools and riddled with corruption though still filled with normal Witches and Wizards working to better our world. Then there is the general populace - they seem to desire peace and are mostly content with the current status quo... however as a society we are controlled by our fears, easily controlled and panic through the media, and fickle. Thirdly we have the Muggles - if it gets that far they are unpredictable and very much prone to violence... will the magic of thousands be able to controll and/or subdue the weapons of millions? Lastly, there is the enigma Severus Snape - Potions Master by day and Death Eater by night... I suspect he is a spy... the question is for whom... I believe I know, but it is hard to tell... he plays his role so well.  
  
So that leaves me with a choice... take the Mark and fight from the inside (either as a spy or just a concerned young Wizard trapped in a role he neither chose nor wished for.) If I do this it is very likely I will either die young (by Aurors or by Death Eaters should my duplicity be discovered) or survive as someone whom I doubt I would like very much. Or I can take a bold stand and seek sanctuary at Hogwarts. As much as I would hate to be seen as a bloody Gryffindor "brave and true", abject pain and humiliation are not condusive to a somewhat happy and relatively unscathed me... and that, after all, is the most important thing to consider. Damn this is a difficult choice... it is not often you make a decision that will decide the path for the rest of your life... and my Birthday is in 2 days... I am to be Marked on my Birthday. Happy 17th Birthday to me!]  
  
Draco continues to walk and think. His feet take him to the edge of the Lake. It is well after midnight and he is somewhat surprised to discover he is not alone...  
  
Someone is kneeling in a pool of moonlight. Draco pulls his cloak around him tightly ensuring he would not be seen... he quickly casts a silencing spell on himself and slowly approaches the kneeling figure. As he gets closer he realizes it is Harry Potter [figures, stupid Gryffindork. I finally decide to serve the Light and here sits our hero... alone. Anything could happen and then where would we be... I be?] A voice floats towards him on the night air [Hmmm. He is talking to someone... maybe not alone.] Draco moves even closer in order to properly eavesdrop... he is not in Slytherin for nothing.  
  
"Oh Sirius, I am so tired. I'm only 16 but I feel so very much older. I am world weary. I told you last time we spoke after your memorial about my Occlumency lessons, remember? Well I did it! Yeah for Me" Harry says bitterly.   
  
[ So he is talking to his dead Godfather... and why so bitter about mastering Occlumency? From what I understand it is a very difficult area of magic that requires both self control and power.]   
  
"It seems Dumbledore and Snape were wrong. Go figure they are actually human... Well I am pretty sure Dumbledore is, I am still not sure about that Greasy Git. Apparantly my new found skills simply keeps HIM out of MY head... it does nothing to keep me out of his."  
  
"I guess I am the only spy that sleeps on the job eh? Yeah I know my lame attempt at dark humor sucks. Oh, I don't see every meeting so I can not replace any spies we have... nooo my viewing pleasure is reserved for when that bastard is feeling exceptionally angry or pleased. Oh, Siri... I need you. Who can I turn to now? Who will hold me? Who will offer comfort and drive away the dreams? I am dying you know."  
  
[WHAT!?]  
  
"A little peice of my soul dies each night I share with Him."  
  
"I need you snuffles."  
  
[Snuffles?]  
  
"I can't go to Dumbledore, he tries but... well... you know... he just says something cryptic, gives you a hug and a cup of tea, offers you a lemon drop, and then smiles with his eyes twinkling. I refuse to take this to Ron and Mione. They try but I can't steal away their innocense just so I will feel better. Mrs. Weasley and Hagrid are great in the hug department... but, well... they're just too much... you know what I mean. They panic and sob and you go away feeling strangely guilty that you were the cause of their tears. Moony would probably work but he is still grieving and is always away on Order missions. Snape would understand, but I don't see me crying on his shoulder... can you see it? "Stop those foolish tears this instant. Suck it up Potter. 20 points from Gryffindor for unnecessary tears... they help no one and another 10 points for getting my robes wet." Besides... its hard to think about him since I often see him and what he endures... I know you hate him... but its mostly pretend for me... I know he hates me and I let him... its the least I can do... we owe him so much."  
  
"DAMN YOU SIRIUS! DAMN You... I lived just fine for 11 years without hugs or comfort or love and then you give them... and now I am an addict. You bastard I need you, but no. My own stupidity killed you. I wish I were stronger... if I were strong I would be more like Draco."  
  
[WHAT?]  
  
"I've watched him you know... ever since I got lost in Knockturn Alley in 2nd year. I saw a glimpse behind his mask. Now I watch for it... its hard, his mask seems to be a part of him..."  
  
[It is Potter, it is]  
  
"...but every so often there is the rare moment when you can catch a smile that lights up his eyes... only when he thinks no one is looking of course. I can't do that that... I try but fail. I am an open book it seems."  
  
[Not as much as you might think Potter if you have been carrying all this around.]  
  
"If I was stronger I would call Ron and 'Mione a Mudblood and a Weasel and make them hate me."  
  
[You are cracked Potter... as if they would fall for that now]  
  
They are in so much danger just because I love them. I was going to try... but Dumbledore talked me out of it and boy did I get an earful when they found out. Apparantly they are now mine... Best Friends forever no matter how angry, mean, dark or even evil I become. Its kind of scary Siri, they swore a blood oath using Godrik's own sword."  
  
[A blood oath? What is it about you Potter that inspires such devotion?]  
  
"I know they were trying to help... but know every decision I make includes them... I can't rush into danger because they are bound to me through the oath. I can't even think of just leaving... you know I have thought of it, sometimes the pain is just too much and it would be easy to just.... but no, they tie me here."  
  
[Here? Are you planning on going somewhere or maybe doing something Potter? You are starting to scare me... a little.]  
  
"Yeah for the Light."  
  
"The Light. People think the Light is strong and great and awesome..."  
  
[I is, isn't it?]  
  
"...but what kind of world knowingly places its hopes, its very future on the shoulders of a 16 year old, underage, untrained wizard? Hell even as an 11 year old they looked to me in awe and expectation... shit let's be honest here Siri... they did it to a 1 year old. They created the bloody 'Boy-Who-Lived' gods I hate that title... all they see is a stupid scar. They totally ignore the scared little boy that bears it."  
  
[Oh no Mr. Potter. You are definately more than a scar... but you are right we refuse to look and therefore we fail to see.]   
  
"Let's face it Siri, I am nothing more than a weapon. A weapon for the Light. But there is not much light left in this weapon."  
  
[What are you saying Mr. Potter... going dark, I don't believe it.]  
  
"Did you know they "played" with a family of Muggles last night Siri?"  
  
[They? Played? I don't think I like where this is going.]  
  
"Large family... 7 kids, 2 parents, and a grandma. Youngest was a witch... only 4 years old... her name was Sarah and she wore a pretty blue dress... it was her birthday. They made the family watch while he removed her heart... then he ate it. It was still beating... her eyes were still open... she was crying when he swallowed. Then he let his Death Eater's play. They used the Imperious curse. The dad raped his own mother then she killed her eldest grandchild... they slaughtered each other. It was sickening. But the mother. Wow! She was a strong woman. She refused to harm her children... even when several Death Eaters cast Imperio at the same time... oh, she took the profferred knife... but she killed herself in grief and defiance... she joined her family."  
  
[Damn Potter... does anyone truly know what you see when you "sleep"?]  
  
"If they are there with you... wherever "there" is. Tell her... tell her someone knows. Someone will remember. Witnessing her act of Love was worth the pain that followed."  
  
[Pain... please don't tell me you feel shit from these "visions" of yours.]  
  
"Old Tommy Boy"  
  
[Who?]  
  
"Punished three Death Eaters for over 20 minutes for not subduing the mother... he hates it when us undeserving and puny creatures best him... He used Cruciatus... and if that wasn't bad enough he used something else... I am not sure as its really hard to listen while being tortured... but it makes your blood get hot... really hot. Hurt like hell let me tell you. Madame Pomfrey was scared shitless... not that she would ever admit to that. She had to submerge my body in ice water. Must have been a sight with me thrashing around and all."  
  
[Merlin... you do feel it... how are you even you anymore Potter?]  
  
"Well, that's about all till next time. I need to get back inside before they realize I slipped out. They don't understand that I HAD to come on THIS night. You are closest tonight... stupid I know. I know you are not really there, but this is real, tangible, you know? Good night Sirius, I miss you. Tell Mum and Dad I love them... and tell Cedric that I will never forget. And no, don't worry I remember my promise... did you really think I would forget? Ofcourse not, but I need to remove the dome first. What? You didn't really think me stupid enough to just sit here alone without some sort of protection did you... you taught me better than that, Padfoot."  
  
Draco watches as a shimmery gold dome appears then falls. "There now, I will let you play with Prongs, but not for too long. I am tired and I actually think Prongs will have to help me a bit... I don't think my legs are quite working as well as they should. Here we go EXPECTO PATRONUM!"  
  
A beautiful silver stag erupts from Harry's wand. The stunning creature prances proudly about, jumping around for a moment in utter joy... his antics cause Harry to laugh out loud. Draco decides he likes this sound and realizes with a jolt that he has not heard it in a very long time. He watches amazed as the completely corporeal patronus approaches and nuzzles the still kneeling Harry... and then he turns his head in a rare moment of respect as the dark haired teen finally breaks down and sobs into the stags neck. "Prongs" kneels down and allows the young man to cling to him. Draco's attention is again focused on the surreal scene as Harry says, "You know Prongs... its at moments like this when I wonder if maybe your the bit of Dad's love left behind for me?"  
  
[That's right... it is so easy to forget that you have no parents Po... Harry. And it seems from what I've heard tonite... no one really took their place... I wish they had... Father's cruel and mean, but he spoiled me when I was younger and I have always known that Mother loved me.]  
  
Draco's focus is again brought back to the present when Harry asks, "Can you help me back?"  
  
[Can you see me Harry? No he means the stag you git.]  
  
The stags nods and Harry stands. Draco sees his legs and arms are shaking badly, driving home the fact he was tortured for over 20 minutes not too long ago. As Harry lies across the back of the stag his vision gets dim. He tries to shake his head to clear it but the fog increases and he discovers he hasn't the needed energy... ||Damn, weaker than I thought...|| Harry collapses. The stag turns to mist before disappearing altogether leaving Harry lying on the ground... still but for the trembling that not even unconciousness can diminish.  
  
Draco approaches and sees Harry is truly unconscious. "Stupid Gryffindor," he says... though his tone lacks the usual acidic tone. He picks Harry up surprised at how light he is. Looking up Draco finally understands what Harry was doing out here in his condition... brightly twinkling the Star Sirius was the brightest it would be all year. Draco carries Harry to the infirmary.   
  
As he nears the doors Dumbledore surprises him by opening them for him. Placing his index finger over his mouth the Headmaster indicates silence for now. He then leads the way into a private room. Draco notices it does not look like a hospital room... in fact it rather looks like a private dorm room... a private Gryffindor dorm room. Draco gently lays the trembling boy on the bed. The Headmaster removes Harry's shoes and then transfigures his damp clothes into dry pajamas. Seeing that Harry is still trembling Draco covers him with the duvet and charms the fire to make the room warmer.  
  
Following the Headmaster out, Draco watches as the door is closed then disappears. The Headmaster turns to Draco, "Well, Mr. Malfoy. I trust your walk was enlightening."   
  
"Sir?"  
  
"Mr. Malfoy, contrary to some people's opinions, I am neither stupid nor senile. I make mistakes, yes. But usually not stupid ones. I knew Harry would go out tonight in order to speak to Sirius... he promised. I also knew there was nothing I should do to prevent it. I watched you as you walked around... yes I can see through the cloak. I saw you watch him and listen to his conversation... and I assure you had he been alone I would have gone for him myself when he collapsed... He will be fine, just exhausted and still in no small amount of pain. I believed you would assist him this night... I am glad to see my faith was properly placed. You might try to get to know him a bit, Draco. You have more in common than either of you know. And you may be surprised to know that Harry thinks rather highly of you... though he shows it in a rather Slytherin manner. Oh, and please know that you can always come to me if you ever need to talk about anything, anything at all. Good night, my child."   
  
With that Headmaster Albus Dumbledore swept out of the infirmary leaving behind one shocked and very confused Draco Malfoy. 


End file.
